White Crane Centre
Goju ryu, Kyusho jitsu, Krav Maga, Kobudo.
Am I Abused
Am I being beaten?
Do you doubt what you have experienced?
People who are abused often doubt that their perception and experiences are correct. This is because the abuse breaks down one's self-esteem so that in the end one does not believe that what one sees, hears and feels is real. Many abusers also say that their partner is crazy, mentally ill or stupid in the head to make her doubt herself.
There is a simple rule you can follow
Trust your feelings.
If it feels wrong, it's wrong!
Concrete examples of abuse
Your life is about trying to understand what he wants, how you can make him happy.
You do not really know what is broken in your relationship but you keep trying to repair it.
You're trying to figure out how to behave in order for him to treat you the way he treats other people.
You often feel anxious and depressed.
You have a hard time making plans, it all depends on his changing mood.
You withdraw from friends and acquaintances and are ashamed of how you let him treat you.
Every attempt to sort out problems with him leaves you frustrated with the feeling that nothing is solved.
It feels like you speak different languages.
Your self-esteem and belief in your ability has decreased significantly.
You feel uncomfortable in his company but you love him.
You distrust your perception, sometimes you even doubt your sanity.
When he is nice, you wonder if you imagined previous episodes when he treated you badly.
You are always on your guard so that you do not say or do anything wrong, something that annoys him.
You tease your quarrels over and over again and try to figure out what went wrong but find no answer.
You are afraid of him but get remorse because you are.
You are unhappy with your life but are sure you can not get better.
You've lost interest in things you enjoyed doing before.
Your relationship is consuming more and more of your time and energy but you get no right side of it.
You get stress symptoms, such as sleep problems, anxiety, muscle aches, headaches, palpitations.
You feel that you do not really want to go home in the evening, you linger at work, stay in the car.
Sometimes you feel completely powerless, almost apathetic.
You have forgotten what is important to you and what you wanted with your life.
Do you recognize yourself?
If it is only in some of the examples, you are most likely exposed to psychological abuse by your partner. Mental abuse leaves no bruises and bone fractures, but it breaks your inner self. Many women who have been subjected to both physical and mental abuse have said that they experienced the mental abuse as worse than the beatings and kicks. The abuse is usually escalated and it is not uncommon for the person who abuses mentally to start using physical violence after a while.
